Whether you are looking for someone to have a serious, long-term relationship with or just want to meet single moms who share your interests, there are some good qualities that all single mothers look for in their potential partners. Here are the top 10 qualities single moms want in a man.
- Respect
Single moms deserve respect more than anyone else. They work hard raising their children, often alone and without much help from others. If you want to be on a mom’s good side, start by showing respect towards her as an individual human being with value rather than viewing her as some kind of bank account. You don’t need to pretend you’re broke and avoid trying to impress by throwing money around on a first date.
2. Honesty
Being an honest person is something that all single moms look for in their potential partners. Everyone has different things they’re looking for, but honesty is the best policy when dating someone with kids because you never know how much they already know about your past. There’s nothing worse than having to explain yourself unnecessarily after your new partner has finished telling their children about the new person in their lives, only to find out that what was said completely clashes with reality. It’s even worse if it then turns out that they heard about you from someone else, like one of your friends or, god forbid, one of your exes. Honesty may not always make life easier, but it sure beats the alternative.
3. Boundaries
The quickest way to annoy people is to not have any boundaries, but most single moms need a man with some, especially when it comes to their children. These people are not your property, and you should not be expected to take over as a parent even if you live with them. Your role in a mom’s life should involve being a partner and equal, not an autonomous childminder. Being responsible for another adult and yourself is challenging enough without having others looking for free childcare. What makes good child care for kids of single parents is no different from that which works for those from two-parent families. Make sure you understand what your partner’s boundaries are before they have to tell you for the first time after you’ve already broken them.
4. Compassion
If you are a single mom, you know that your child will be the main reason why you are looking for another man. You do not expect that guy to be another kid who can keep up with your energy. However, you still want him to have enough compassion to understand what it is like to have a child. It is not like it is something that he can understand immediately. You want him to care about your child and know the boundaries between them (like not hitting or teasing).
You also do not expect your man to be an animal hater. Just because you have a kid does not mean you should no longer care for other beings. Your next man should be someone who can accommodate and love your child, as well as any pets you may have.
5. Commitment
Perhaps surprisingly, many single moms can have long-term, stable relationships despite their past experiences with men. However, this doesn’t mean they can commit to someone immediately after breaking up with an ex. They need time to figure out what kind of person is good for them and who isn’t. The only way that you serve your cause as being part of that small subset who are “good” for them is by being patient, supporting her through the process of deciding whether or not she should give love another chance. If you’re really lucky, she might even let you experience the amazing feeling of being second in her life.
6. Good communication
If you’ve ever tried to have a conversation with someone about something serious, you probably already have some idea why communication is so important for single moms. They’ve had times with their needy exes where they acted as therapists, consolers, and nurses, as well as everything else they needed to be during that relationship. It’s good then that guys who date them need to have at least some understanding of how difficult it can be for someone who’s been hurt before – not just by a bad breakup but also by people close to them who abandoned them when they were at their most vulnerable. So show her that you can communicate well, not just when it’s casual but also when there are problems.
7. Passionate about something
It does not matter what it is, so long as he is passionate about something and has a goal in life that he wants to achieve regardless of whether or not you are around (like becoming a taxi driver). Your next man should not be someone who does not work, only works when you are around, and is seemingly uninterested in anything. If he has goals, he can make an effort to achieve them regardless of whether or not you are there for him.
8. Good sense of humor
Dating an intelligent woman who’s also funny is every guy’s dream! She knows when to be serious, but single moms are more than capable of mixing things up when they need to. If you were attracted to her in the first place because she seemed laid back and easy-going, this shouldn’t change just because she has kids. Her children will already see enough role models like it around them, so someone with a sense of humor should never feel like something which needs “fixing.” If anything, your partner wants to laugh more often now that the responsibility for being a parent has been placed on her shoulders, so help her out whenever you can.
9. Financial stability
You paid a single mom a compliment by going out on a date with her, so the least you could do is pay for dinner too. That trait of being independent and wanting to take care of herself might have come from her own experiences, but it’s still something that every woman appreciates – whether or not she has children. If anything, the example of how difficult things used to be will only make her want to support you even more in return. That doesn’t mean that you should just buy her presents whenever she asks for them either – instead, set up a “little fund” and deposit money into it each month as an expression of your commitment towards what both of you hope will be a long-term relationship.
10. Good Sex, of course.
If the sex is good, then that only means more to look forward to in general, and what single mom could resist that? You’re both mature adults, so just talk about your likes and dislikes before you get started – whether it’s with dirty talk or love notes, it can make all the difference when you know exactly how each other wants to be treated in bed. It also helps you two stay together because if she knows what satisfies her better during sex, she can ask for it instead of fantasizing about the same things over and over again, which generally leads to dissatisfaction on both sides.
Conclusion:
Single moms have a lot of hurdles to overcome in life. They already do so much, and their time is limited. Knowing what they want from a man will make your relationship with them easier as you work towards love and happiness together.
If you’re a single mom, what are some other qualities you look for in a man? Comment below to share with our readers!
Xo Lisa
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